#4 Loneliness in MenBy: Fred | March 6, 2012 | 4 Comments
It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise. This is true of men as of dogs. Eric Hoffer
There are close to 20 million men in the United States that are single, divorced or widowed. Since there are 3 million more unmarried women than unmarried men, it follows that there are identifiable reasons the men remain single.
In a nutshell, single women are proactive in their pursuit of a man for marriage, whereas men, are not proactive. They approach the matter from the classic male, linear, scientific angle. Women, are aggressors, men are …”Let me see, it says here that 14% of women over …..”
In short, men have only themselves, and the male psyche, to blame for their loneliness. In short, short, they don’t want to remarry.
- If a man is still single by the age of 35, he will probably never marry.
- A man may talk of the desire to marry, but chances are he unconsciously rejects the notion. Most men who want to marry find a wife by their late-20’s.
- The single man’s interest in sex is normal, and the sexual revolution has created an environment where sex is abundant and easy.
- A substantial number of bachelors have worked out a satisfying lifestyle, but they are a minority. Most of them spend a substantial amount of time searching for a mate. But their search method is notably different from that of the average marriage-minded female. A woman seeking a husband will not be dissuaded from her goal. The single man inches slowly in the general direction of marriage.
- Sometimes, in desperation, the lonely man will put a sincere notice in the “personal” columns of newspapers or dating sites. Some unmarried men employ a scientific approach to mate selection.
- Another factor is the increasing number of businesses with widely scattered offices and factories. Nearly 4 million men moved in to new jobs in a recent single year.
- Many men search in vain for a woman who lives up to their exacting specifications. But, truth be told, their standards are unrealistic, just another excuse for not dealing directly with their head problems.
- Some of these men attempt to correct their problems. Tens of thousands get psychiatric help each year. The group includes unmarried men with distorted ideas about male-female roles that are they learned as children.
Psychologists sort unmarried men with common difficulties intofour groups:
- A large number of men who reject marriage have “mother” issues.
- A second type, is the man who is more anti-responsibility than anti-woman.
- A third group consists of latent homosexuals.
- The fourth group is confirmed homosexuals, representing about 5% of our total population.
Emotional problems may be common among single men, but a great number of them adjust easily to life without women. The single man may adjust to a life alone, but health problems will be his companion.
Unwed men are much less healthy than married men. Studies show that of all the men without women, divorced men are in the worst physical condition.
- The lives of the unwed man are hazardous. Widowers and divorced men are four times as likely to be killed in automobile accidents as husbands.
- For each suicide of a married man, there are five for an unmarried man.
- Homicide difference is even worse. Ten unmarried men die at the hand of a killer, versus one husband.